Sanctuary

Last night I attended a service that was similar to Matins, with Psalms being sung by our men's choir.  It was beautiful, with a candle on each side of the altar being extinguished after each section until it was only the Paschal candle left, glowing in the center.  A loud bang, signifying the closing of the tomb.  Silence in the dark.

Tonight I attended Holy Thursday services.  As I carried the oil of the sick to the altar it hit me that this was going to be a long night.....there was incense aplenty.  I think I might possibly be allergic.  I can't even handle much incense in a home environment, but in church it makes me feel like I can't breathe and I spent much of the mass with a handkerchief up that I was breathing through.  Still, it was a beautiful service, with adoration at the convent afterward.

Tomorrow morning I have prayer and then in the afternoon it's Good Friday.  I have a nail, and apparently a role to play.  Wednesday night part of our response included the words "Jesus wept" and it hit me very hard.  The idea of a man who wept, knowing what was to be.  I cannot imagine knowing your whole life that you are to be a sacrifice for people who usually prove unworthy.  But as "God so loved the world" it would be.

Not all was serious though.  I was chastised for not wearing a coat (I feel like I have a dozen grandmothers at church), saying I would catch a cold.  I explained that colds are viral and that I'm a fairly healthy person, but she just shook her head and said, "But you're so pale."  I had to keep myself from laughing....I am pale....it's just the color I came in!  However she is one of my favorites and told me that she can teach me to crochet, so I'm excited.  I signed up for my knitting classes, but they're not til the end of May.

I love this week.  It's such a good time for a last bit of reflection.