Having spent the last 3 months living completely on my own has actually not been a bad thing. People were shocked before he left when I said I had helped plan out the fact that he was deploying at all. People have been shocked since that I've had one afternoon of sadness when he'd been gone a week or two, but it was over in less than half an hour. I talk to my husband nearly every day. And more importantly, being alone does not have to equal lonliness.
It helps that I enjoy my own company. I'm rarely bored, because there is always a book to read or something to tidy up. I make a point to meet with friends for meals and coffee. And I'm busy with classes, bocce league, and grocery shopping (which seems to be a constant thing lately for grapes!).
But I also have found I have no problem going to lunch by myself. Or sitting at a cafe and reading or knitting. I don't find the silence heavy. The weather has been glorious, not too warm, not too breezy. And one lunch out I spent it eating... and writing a somewhat risque note to my husband on my new Crane letter paper. It felt deliciously fun to be doing so while sitting in a cafe full of "ladies who lunch."
Tonight, I plan to spend the evening sitting at an outdoor cafe enjoying a simple ham and cheese sandwich and some iced tea. I've finished Jane Eyre and am in the middle of The Picture of Dorian Gray, so that and my scarf should keep me busy. But I refuse to act as a recluse when the weather is beautiful. Life is too short to not learn to enjoy your own company. After all, it's the company you always keep.