As we drove through the Lancaster countryside, having bought eggs from a girl who was raking gravel (still haven't quite figured that one out), I commented to my friend that if G ever went on deployment again I was going to pack up the kids and take them to live on an Amish farm. She kind of laughed until she realized I was serious. I explained that I think their discipline of getting everything done is incredible. It's a skill I'd like to acquire.
Being a stay at home wife has bred laziness. Too often I would be hurt by G's lack of help (reading The 5 Love Languages we've figured out that mine clearly is Acts of Service), so I would make excuses for why I hadn't done things. And as I've warned friends before who suddenly have a lot of time off from work... don't put things off. You'll feel like you have all the time in the world because technically you do, but it will slowly become overwhelming.
I like a nice and tidy house, where everything has a place. I'm slightly ocd (my maman tells me my kitchen organization is like the movie Sleeping With The Enemy), and I can be demanding. But I'm also human and fail to get things done more often than I accomplish them. I literally have a list of projects to do that is several pages long.
Saturday felt amazing. All of my extremities hurt the next day, like I got in a workout. But I felt proud of everything I managed to accomplish. Sunday morning, walking into my kitchen and seeing less mess than I'd seen in months I smiled. It was good to know I had quiche in the fridge and some nectarine tartin. I didn't accomplish everything, because I simply ran out of time, but I didn't get discouraged, I simply added those things to the list of what to do the next day.
We're each finding discipline in getting things done so that our home will become one where the upkeep is minimal (daily dishes and sweeping), and we can relax with one another. It has helped our marriage to discover that not only am I ocd, but I see love by things that are done. It's why I cook and bake for G, and sew his things, and clean. I don't make the excuse that I'm naturally a cluttered person, because those are simply habits I can change.
So I'm changing them. And tomorrow I'll be discussing how I am learning to find contentment in keeping house, seeing it as a gift to my family.
I think you are so right that the more time you have the more you put stuff off--that is definitely how I am! If I have a deadline and a lot of things going on I'm way more productive than if I'm just sitting around doing nothing for days on end...
ReplyDeleteThe more things that are on my plate to do, the more I accomplish and finish on time. It's really important that if you work from home - either as a consultant or as a homemaker - you set about your tasks like a job with deadlines and to-do lists. It really helps me be focused.
ReplyDeleteI live with a control-freak who is not tidy (I'm a control freak who is also a neat freak). He has had to learn to be tidy and I have had to learn to only be OCD about my areas.
But, he has developed a pride for the way his wife keeps a house and is ready for the doorbell to ring when a dinner party is planned. I just need to remember to not quite be so militant!