Thursday, December 4, 2008


For a large part of my life I went with the crowd. If people said something was cool, then it must be, and vice versa with uncool things. But as I prepare to turn 25, which for me if a significant number I am amazed at how much I have changed in the past couple of years, as well as how much I haven't changed. One big way seems to be that I trust myself more now. I go with my gut, follow my intuition. When I feel there is a person in my life who is bad juju, as I put it, I feel free to not judge, but to let go of them from my life. Allowing negative people in my life has only proved previously to be unhealthy, at times even disastrous. When I feel an urge to do something, I usually follow it. A couple of days ago while sitting enjoying coffee in a cafe I noticed that the lady next to me was wearing a beautiful purple dress, with white embroidery. I even pointed it out to my husband. As the woman was preparing to leave I gently touched her arm and explained that I hated to interrupt but I wanted to let her know that the dress looked amazing on her. Once I said it, I got an odd look, and I was worried that perhaps I should have kept silent. Here in England you just don't talk to strangers much, it's "just not done." But suddenly the lady smiled, and she said that I couldn't possibly know how great that was to hear, that she had just come back from vacation and it was nice to hear someone thought she looked good. I smiled, told her I was glad, and then quietly went back to my conversation with Garret.

I suppose this is not too horribly different from how I used to be in the way that I have always felt completely comfortable complimenting people. But I am now more bold about it, sometimes stopping someone to tell them rather than only complimenting someone if I am in conversation with them. I find it easier because I tell myself that the worst they can do is look at me like I am crazy or even get snippy if they are having a bad day. But there is always that chance that the person really needs to be noticed. And when I get such a strong urge, I follow it, because I get the impression it's almost as if I am being told to do something. Like I am being used for a purpose, and that while I am not all that important, what I might do is.

As for things I might do, I love to eat an ice cream cone while strolling the Abbey.....even better when it is cold out. Something about the decadence of locally made ice cream eaten when it's cold enough everyone is in scarves and gloves delights me. Another thing I do is dance as I walk around the garden, twirling even. I've learned that while a few people might stare, in the end they will not remember it, but I will remember if I let my inhibitions cause me to not do something that causes joy in my life. In the end, a compliment is a free way to brighten a day, and twirling, always seems to brighten mine!

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