Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I've been posting less this week. Moving is stressful, and on top of that I've been dealing with family issues.

My grandmama is one of my best friends. I try and call her a couple times a month (I used to call more, but it became more difficult for her to get to the phone, so I make the calls longer, but less frequent). Ever since I was born she and I have been close. I was constantly staying the night at her home. I helped her garden. I've been drinking coffee since I was 3 or 4 because I would sneak it from her cup. I would drag out all her jewelry and dresses and hats. Well, I still do that. She introduced me to GiGi, and Mrs. 'Arris Goes To Paris. Those began my love of Paris and Dior.

She took a fall this week. It wasn't until the next day that some neighbors we've known forever found her. She ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and some kidney issues from muscle damage because she lay there so long. I've never been so worried in my life. She's 81, and for the first time in a long time I began to panic. I simply cannot imagine a world where she does not exist.

She will be moving in with my parents after this whole ordeal is over. And I worry. All the women in my family are the same. We're stubborn, slightly perfectionistic control freaks, and independent. I've been dreading this day because I know how much she has valued her independence. And she's moving out of the home she's lived in since the early 50's. The home she brought my mother home to from the hospital. The home that is more tied in to my childhood than the house I grew up in. Going home this summer to pick up some things and help out knowing that the house eventually will have a new family living in it will make me incredibly sad. It will be a hard goodbye.

But I am grateful that my grandmama is okay. That I still will have time with her. My biggest fear in moving to England was that something would happen and I would just feel lost. Garret and I talked about how I cannot imagine having children who don't know this woman. This woman that likes to say she picked a good one for me (Garret). This woman who is ladylike, but plays the card game Bullshit against us, and tries her damnedest to win. This woman who I am so much like, who I have aimed to resemble. So for now, I have a lot to think about. But mostly I'm thankful for more time, more memories.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that about your grandma. What about getting her a life alert button. My great grandma insists on living on her own in her house. She has had falls. Last week she went out to the garage and couldn't get back in the house. They got her a life alert button so if she falls or gets stuck some where she can push it and get help right away. I hope your grandma gets better. I know what you mean about a stranger moving into the house. I don't want to ever not be able to go to my great grandparents house. I spent alot of time there. If it wasn't up north I would love to live in it.

  2. I am so sorry to hear that about your grandma.