Monday, March 8, 2010

The Love Dare

I think I've mentioned before how much I love the film Fireproof.  It is cheesetastic to the extreme, but the message is amazing, and the music is pretty good as well.  We're currently in the middle of watching it again right now, actually.  Garret has mentioned for some time now that he wanted to get The Love Dare (the book in the film), but after reading the "look inside" portion on Amazon, it struck me that what I have feeling lately is correct.  I need to do the dare, not him.  So I've gotten the book and am good to go.  True, it's a 40 day journey, and we are supposed to only have 23 days left of our 30 day thing, but eh, we'll play it by ear.

The first day is Love Is Patient, and it discusses patience, it's help in a marital relationship, and then gives you a dare to do for that day.  A part that really struck me is:

"Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human.  It understands that everyone fails.  When a mistake is made it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it.  It gives you ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure."

Patience, as I have constantly said, is not a big virtue of mine.  And out of frustration I have become a person who is quick to snap.  I have become a spouse who expects my husband to be a superhuman all too often.  I am ashamed of this behavior, and expect this day's dare to be quite the challenge.  

Garret and I talked a lot today about what needed to change.  Specifics, sometimes blunt and slightly harsh.  We discussed how things we have failed to do have damaged our relationship, and discussed how to begin repairing it.  Day by day seems to be how it's going to go down.  But I am remaining optimistic (at times, my lack of patience has me wanting immediate changes), but cautious.  While I am making plans for the future, it is with the knowledge that if need be I will find ways to alter that.  Something we discussed in depth was our faith, and how strangely the more I felt lost in my marriage, the stronger my faith has become.  Often, in previous relationships, as they soured I became angry at God.  Instead, now I have begun to cling to Him to lead me through this fire.  

Please pray for us as we continue on this rocky path.  And if you would like more updates as I follow along this dare, let me know, either in the comments or e-mail.  Thank you again for the wonderful and supportive comments, e-mails and messages, I have some of the most amazing people as my readers!


  1. I continue to send love, hug, and hope. As I have said before, I so admire your honesty and your courage.
    Much love,

  2. you are so brave and strong: it is great that you are working through this rather than just letting it lie...
    i wish you so much love and luck xx
    (ps i don't know if i've really commented here before...been reading your blog for a while though and love it. you are so inspiring!)

  3. Kalee, I continue to send you my love and support in your journey. I trust that God is with both of you.

  4. It's marvellous to see your relationship up close, and revelatory how problems persist despite the presence of great love and faith. Thanks for sharing your journey--it's an inspiration and model for us all.

  5. This is only going to bring you two closer. I think it would be interesting to read about ,but if it's too private, by all means don't worry about posting.

  6. I will be praying for you and your marriage.... I'm not so very patient either.... he hum :-)

    I saw your comment over at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee and I wanted to introduce myself. I honestly don't know you, but I will be praying for you every time I think of you and Garret. I'm believe in miracles :-)

    Hugs to you!


  7. I think this is such a fantastic idea. I have followed along on a blog of someone doing the Love Dare before and found it very inspiring in my relationship with my husband. It's made our marriage better even second-hand and reminded me of important things I need to focus on.

  8. I am so glad you are going through The Love Dare! I have seen the movie at least twice and have the book and soundtrack. I think amazing things will happen if you persevere. Best of luck to you both!