On Writing

I've really begun to work out my novel.  While lovely, it's been frustrating.  I am going to be that author who cites a billion sources because I really need to spend several weeks at the library researching topics.  I would share what, but since the novel has twists and turns, little surprises, I can't really.  

That has to be the most frustrating part of this whole process.  Because there is love in the story my easiest cop out is to say I am writing a love story, but that seems wrong, since that's not really what it's about in entirety.  And yet, due to the secrecy I can't say much at all.  I've gotten used to explaining that it's in the works and I'm still working out what it will be.  Like clay that a sculptor is beginning to form.  I've done the legwork to begin.  I've made a list of all the topics I need to research.  Done a story board for the points in the novel.  I plan to write a draft first without any dialogue.  That might seem odd, but I know the story, their dialogue will come later.  I'd rather insert it once the story is done, thereby seeing where it's necessary rather than using it for filler.  

It's been an interesting ride so far.  I sometimes feel as if the story is being told to me and I am simply recording it.  It sounds odd, but I will get bits of pieces at times and have to make note of it.  The characters I can see clear as day, as if I knew them.  It's made me want to do the story justice, to really explore the depths of love.  I'm hoping once it's been written that I can put up a beginning chapter here for everyone, but that's a long while off.  When I imagine having to look for an agent I get butterflies.  I've never had to sell myself before, and for something so important I don't want to screw it up.  But if I ever want to achieve the dream of being an author I need to get brave.  Maybe I should research that too?