Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I Do Not Love You

Dear Alayna,

I do not love you simply because I am supposed to.  In fact I didn't want to.  But how could I not?  Your hand reaches for mine, though you don't need it.  Your nose touches my nose and G laughs as we both scrunch ours up at the same time.  This little lady who giggles at my fishy kisses.  A day of you and I was exhausted and sore from tossing you and flying you and bouncing on Nana's bed with you.....it was so worth it.  

Everyone says that once we have our "own" babies that it will be different, that I will love them even more.  I say it's impossible.  You are the first that I have loved so fiercely I would toss myself in front of a bus for.  Not even G gets that privilege.  And though I look forward to giving you cousins I know that there will never again be a time like this.  When God calls b.s. and shows me that even when I don't want it, big love comes in tiny little packages. 


Good Morning, Uncle Garret.....I see you have a cream puff...."Taste?"
She moves so fast she's a blur!
This is my French Chic look.  Auntie finally twisted a few together to make a double strand so she'd quit worrying I would strangle myself.
My new favorite mode of transportation.
I was so tired I curled up on great grandma and didn't move no matter how many people came in to look at me.  Don't you love the underwater cowgirl thing I have going on?


  1. She's adorable. I can see why you have fallen in love with her.

  2. Sweetness. This weekend I hung out with a couple of little girls and one of them just stole my heart. Oh to have a daughter of my very own...