Every Day

Well, last week was an amazing blessing.  With my best friend here I avoided the computer.  I didn't read any blogs really, I didn't watch t.v., and I didn't really blog more than the quick check in.  And something hit me hard that has been on my mind for a while.  I began blogging as a way to keep myself in check.  To explore out loud this person I felt inside.  My husband loved it because I became more vivacious, less worrisome.  I threw caution to the wind more.  I became the me I had been holding back for years.

And then, 2 years later I began feeling like this blog was a chore.  I had to live an interesting life so that I had something to write about, and then after living it I didn't always want to write about it.  I realized that by the time I called my family and friends to talk to them about things they has already read about it here.  So we've talked less.  Which, quite frankly, sucks. 

The reality is this:  I am a simple woman who gets overwhelmed in huge crowds.  I don't like getting called up to talk about myself.  I prefer to wear simple chic clothes that show of me rather than me showing off clothes.  I eat natural foods for the most part.  I like working with veggies, chopping them up, adding them to everything.  I am pretty damn healthy because of the way I choose to eat.  I've become a slight pain in that I won't allow myself anything other than plain coffee or an espresso in the afternoon.  Cafe au lait in the mornings (when I'm feeling indulgent).  I will save a ton of money for an item I love.  I believe that a little exercise and watching what you eat will almost always work for losing weight, and I'm willing to take the "slow" route to get to my most healthy size.  I believe that you should buy the best food you can afford, learn to cook, and delight in the senses when you do.  I'm faithful, not overly religious.  I say prayers before meals, but I won't make you join me. 

Basically I have learned to be self-centered and do things for myself and those closest to me. 

This blog isn't working for me anymore, at least not the way I've been doing it.  I enjoy sharing experiences (such as the great necklace try-on earlier).  And I enjoy writing about things when they really made me pause, or it was such a great time.  But that doesn't happen everyday.  And by forcing myself to come up with something to write about I feel a little lost.  So I will be taking a pause.  I will write when I have something to say (and boy do I have some things to say that I've been trying to figure out how to write without offending people).  I will write when I've done something awesome (such as G's first flight, and the conference coming up).  But mainly it's going to be a little quieter here. 

I will be continuing to catch up on blogs I adore.  And I welcome your comments on the posts I put up.  Hopefully this way I can actually respond better.  I just need some time for me, to get back to a healthy place where I'm living life for me.  I do hope you understand.