Blackbird

So today a friend posted on facebook a couple lines from the song Blackbird (originally by The Beatles).  I had been watching "I Am Sam" a month or so ago, and Sarah McLachlan sings it on the soundtrack and I just love it.  

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly.  All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise." 

This song has some meaning for me, as I stumble down the road of self-acceptance.  I'm in a complicated marriage (best friends growing up together still) where problems are heightened because it's becoming increasingly noticeable that the house is too big for two and that no pet can really fill that void.  But at the same time we're taking baby steps, learning to communicate better.  I'm growing and changing and learning I have to let people in to see me, that breaking down sometimes is necessary to build upwards (basically I actually allow myself to cry rather than fighting it so hard I burst).  I've been as transparent as I can be on this blog, even at times fearful of the repercussions of those I know seeing more of me.  But my main goal for 2011 is to be me with no apologies and no acquiescences to being someone I'm not.  I figure if the person closest to me knows all of me darkness and light and still loves me fiercely than I'm okay.  

My Christmas wish for all of you is that you have that in your life.  Someone who loves every nook and cranny, all the complicated crevices we have as human beings.  And that you search for the light within you but don't feel shamed by the darkness, the moments of imperfection.  That you learn that failing at something does not mean you're a failure.  And that as cheesy as it sounds, yes, all you need is love. 

I probably will not be posting again until after Christmas as I have a list as long as my arm, a dinner party, and a baby brother plus birthday to prepare for. 

Merry Christmas to you and yours.