Sunday, March 27, 2011

4 Weeks

It's been a month since G left.  The things I've learned are this:

* I hate dealing with the trash.  Who would have thought?  Those years of living on my own I seemed to handle it, but now it just irks me.  And kitty litter.  Don't even get me started, I'm thinking of selling the cat. :)

* Some women compensate by sleeping in the middle, or slung across the bed.  Me, who usually switched sides on a whim suddenly has taken back my original side and won't move.  Nope.  Each night I curl up on my side I think of as mine and put a fort of pillows around me.  On his side?  Currently there is a cookbook, my cell phone, and a snoring cat.  The computer will join them.

* Red wine lasts longer when refrigerated in between.  Good to know.

* The dogs go between blaming me for him being gone with attitude and not listening (when normally I'm the enforcer) to trying to convince me I'm clearly a horrible parent because I don't feed them exactly when he would have.  Not that he kept a schedule.  They also like to lie and tell me that I'm not feeding them enough, but I haven't given in to that crap.

* Piss me off normally, and my reaction is a toss up depending on the history of it.  Piss me off when my husband isn't here to temper me?  Hide.  Now.

* I'm slightly jealous of women who have things of their man's with distinct smells.  The grey shirt he wore for two days while working around the house?  Nope.  And he and I wear the same deodorant usually so it does nothing for me.  (because we use the jason brand of deodorant rather than antiperspirant.)  What I would give to smell my husband right now.  That sounds creepy.  Reminds me of the movie Perfume.

* Which reminds me that I have mad love for Alan Rickman, but without G to roll his eyes at my crushes on older actors or feign jealousy it's just not as much fun to swoon.  True story.

* I miss him most when it's bedtime.  In fact, as an avoidance I've pretty much been living in the living room until I have to go to bed.  We usually would talk or just snuggle tight and just be.  Well, and the dogs clearly aren't going to snuggle....I'm starving them! (okay, that's a lie.  They would totally snuggle.  If I ever let them on the bed.  Which because of Sophie's course shedding hair I don't.  So Audrey doesn't get to be up here either.  Which might have something to do with the resentment when they can clearly see there is enough room for them.  Hmm.)

* I'm surprisingly okay.  I'm usually an emotional person, but so far so good.  I miss him.  I cry occasionally.  But mainly I get my butt out of bed and allow myself to enjoy life.

I mean, really....why waste a perfectly good opportunity to have the car all to myself?  Exactly.


  1. Hi Kalee! Just catching up on your posts here. I miss reading them and I'm glad that you're doing well even if G isn't there. Hang in there! Sorry so short as my internet might go out! xoxoxoxPing

  2. You seem like you've been doing great, and I'm so jealous for how independent and productive you are!

  3. That's exactly how I feel when my b has to go on a business trip. The cat is pissed at me and refuses to eat.
    I'm so with you on the trash and the litter thing. I don't mind scrubing the toilet or cleaning the sink just don't for pete's sake make me clean the litter ;-)
    Oh and I sleep on my side too dilligenty... wearing his t-shirt.
    Hang in there!

  4. Keep going, girlfriend. You've got to realize that this is an important period in your life. It's hard - damn hard - but DON'T WASTE IT. Which is exactly what you are not doing, so keep it up.

    Have you seen Bottle Shock? Alan Rickman, wine, and snooty French people. Priceless.

  5. Ping, I hope your internet gets more stable soon...I miss your posts!

    Diary of Why, lol. I'm giving it the old college try for sure.

    Missris, Thank you! It's out of pure necessity to my sanity.

    Coffeeaddict, thank you! Yes, normally the dogs freak out if I leave for any length of time, but they're none too happy he's gone either. They have a schedule, don'tcha-know!

    Rebekah, I love that movie! Hilarious. And the young guy isn't bad eye candy either.

  6. WAIT!!!! WHAT!!!??? Ive been out of the loop like SERIOUSLY! Well doll... There is a light at the end of this tunnel! Trust me I've been there, done that It's the hardest thing you ever do but we are much much stronger than we give ourselves credit for! You will be JUST FINE!

    S/N Now i gotta go back and read lik eevry post from today until I announced I was pregnant and my world went crazier than before!