4 Weeks

It's been a month since G left.  The things I've learned are this:

* I hate dealing with the trash.  Who would have thought?  Those years of living on my own I seemed to handle it, but now it just irks me.  And kitty litter.  Don't even get me started, I'm thinking of selling the cat. :)

* Some women compensate by sleeping in the middle, or slung across the bed.  Me, who usually switched sides on a whim suddenly has taken back my original side and won't move.  Nope.  Each night I curl up on my side I think of as mine and put a fort of pillows around me.  On his side?  Currently there is a cookbook, my cell phone, and a snoring cat.  The computer will join them.

* Red wine lasts longer when refrigerated in between.  Good to know.

* The dogs go between blaming me for him being gone with attitude and not listening (when normally I'm the enforcer) to trying to convince me I'm clearly a horrible parent because I don't feed them exactly when he would have.  Not that he kept a schedule.  They also like to lie and tell me that I'm not feeding them enough, but I haven't given in to that crap.

* Piss me off normally, and my reaction is a toss up depending on the history of it.  Piss me off when my husband isn't here to temper me?  Hide.  Now.

* I'm slightly jealous of women who have things of their man's with distinct smells.  The grey shirt he wore for two days while working around the house?  Nope.  And he and I wear the same deodorant usually so it does nothing for me.  (because we use the jason brand of deodorant rather than antiperspirant.)  What I would give to smell my husband right now.  That sounds creepy.  Reminds me of the movie Perfume.

* Which reminds me that I have mad love for Alan Rickman, but without G to roll his eyes at my crushes on older actors or feign jealousy it's just not as much fun to swoon.  True story.

* I miss him most when it's bedtime.  In fact, as an avoidance I've pretty much been living in the living room until I have to go to bed.  We usually would talk or just snuggle tight and just be.  Well, and the dogs clearly aren't going to snuggle....I'm starving them! (okay, that's a lie.  They would totally snuggle.  If I ever let them on the bed.  Which because of Sophie's course shedding hair I don't.  So Audrey doesn't get to be up here either.  Which might have something to do with the resentment when they can clearly see there is enough room for them.  Hmm.)

* I'm surprisingly okay.  I'm usually an emotional person, but so far so good.  I miss him.  I cry occasionally.  But mainly I get my butt out of bed and allow myself to enjoy life.

I mean, really....why waste a perfectly good opportunity to have the car all to myself?  Exactly.