It's an odd realization that before I know it I will have a little girl looking to me to figure out what sort of woman she wants to be, whether like me or different. So suddenly having to mean what I say and practice not just preach this lifestyle I feel is right becomes even more important. G and I sit and discuss teaching her table manners and to try this and to slow down and really see the beauty around her. To pick quality items over ones that aren't made to last. Choosing less but better. I laughed and said it may come to bite us in the rear when she looks and uses that logic to get something like Gucci sunglasses. Then we discuss teaching her about taking care of items to show she can handle that sort of pricey belonging.
I don't want her to see me as just her mama. Not only would that be unfair to me, but it would be a disservice to her. I think it's vitally important that she see me as a woman, a wife, a friend to those around me. That I am her mama but that it is not the only chic hat I wear. So as I go through my closet I think, "Is that something just comfy or a piece I love?" When planning for this next year I have chosen to think not just as a mother, but as a woman, considering activities that will please me and enrich who I am, separate from her. G will have classes and photography and perhaps a few other hobbies, while I'm hoping to work on my running again (I was easily running 5k before I found out I was pregnant). To learn to sew and to cook more intricate recipes. To maybe take a few fun classes.
I refuse to lose who I am, simply because I'm getting an additional title. Nor to lose who G and I are as a couple. Date nights may happen in house, but they will happen. I want to continue on this journey rather the changing to making my entire world narrow to a small being who will one day grow to not need me. When that day comes, I want to rejoice for who she has become as a woman, while being proud that she learned the steps from me.