I'm sitting here in front of the glowing tree. I should be sleeping, but I got G off to work and then started tidying. I should be sleeping. But I got about 6 hours and that was nice. Apparently I'm experiencing some last minute nesting instincts. Maybe my little to-do list will get done today.
So I sit here, going through iTunes, working on my 2 playlists for labor. Calming Music and Music To Dance To. Have I ever talked about dancing on here? How G and I will bust out music and dance around. There was once an early Saturday that included knee high boots, a silk slip and Creedance Clearwater Revival and it was glorious with the sun streaming in our bedroom window. I dance when I'm happy and I sing when I'm sad. Luckily I have a husband who enjoys both.
So on the dance playlist so far is music like Adele and Eminem. Oh yes, I have major love for some of Eminem's work, I consider his (more recent) lyrics harsh truths that shouldn't be brushed under a rug. There's also OK Go, Amy Winehouse and Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger." And Marc Cohn's "Walking in Memphis." I want music that I can move to, that will pump me up and allow me to get through this event.
The Calm playlist is for when I need to just breathe, but more for once she's here. Music I can listen to while I stare down at her. Adele's "To Make You Feel My Love" and Sarah McLachlan's "Blackbird" from the I Am Sam soundtrack. And my favorite "Hallelujah."
It's an eclectic mix overall. There's very few musical genres that I don't like (techno being one that gives me migraines...but I'd listen to it if I ever made it to the Love Parade). I want Little Miss to feel the beats pulse through her blood and teach her to never be ashamed of her movements to it. To teach her that life is a dance that even when it's not happy moments, there are moments that are worth experiencing.
As I look back on my life, my past, there are crazy moments. Times that even typing on here would seem unbelievable. But I've come to appreciate that each insane twist, every moment that perhaps should be forgotten or told with a blush is what prepared me for the life I have now. So trying to incorporate all of that, all the bittersweet and the spinning so fast you can't breathe into this sort of life soundtrack (after all, I suppose it's true I'm bringing in a new life), well, it's difficult. Do I leave out a sad song because I don't want to begin her life that way or do I leave it in because it's necessary for joy?
So I add the music that has formed a soundtrack of my life until now. Music that causes me to smile and music that causes me to ache somewhere for something that happened long ago, such as Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now." I want to teach her about life. And the reality is the sweet goes with the moments of salty tears.