Two posts in one day, I must be busy! I got the playlists done, the kitchen is nearly clean, and I have a bundle of white onesies I'm about to dye deep purple and kelly green tomorrow. We drove out in the pouring rain to Home Depot and picked up some new drawer pulls for her dresser, only to have one drawer too thick, so we need different bolts for it. But there's a closet organizer hanging in her closet, filled with blankets and our babywearing stash. Her drawers are full and scattered around my living room as I just did what I hope is the final coat of paint on the front of the dresser. Tomorrow I'll finish the sides, we'll attach the changing pad to the top, and hopefully her drawers will be nestled away, awaiting the need to open them.
I started this morning in this flurry of nesting, and it's just struck midnight and I'm still feeling that instinct. The need to get everything in the house done, which is impossible and makes me cranky. At one point tonight I realized we still hadn't found all the cloth wipes we'd washed and I was beginning to panic. I have this sense of her coming really soon and we sorta needed them. Everyone keeps calling and texting to see if she's here, and of course she isn't or they'd know. And I meant it when I said that I would wait up to the 2 weeks late point as long as the midwives would allow it (and unless she gets too much bigger they will). Yes, I'm eager to just do this already and get to hold her and stare in awe, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one. I don't believe in inductions except for absolutely necessary medical reasons, and so far she's right as rain and will take her own sweet time.
I'm hoping to do this without drugs. I'm aware I may want them. And if I reach a point where I simply can't do it anymore, then I'll face making a choice then. However, I have a scary high pain tolerance, and that coupled with being as stubborn as a bull means I'll give it my best damn shot. I figure at least I'm giving it a whirl. No matter what I'm just aiming to get her here healthy.
It still doesn't seem real, the idea that sometime very soon they are going to hand this tiny thing to me and just let us take her home. I'm glad G will be around for quite a bit, because I'm planning to spend the first week or so in bed to recuperate, with him doing the running up and down the stairs. I can't wait to see her little face, to check to see if she has our dimples. G wants her to have my green eyes, but I think he's outta luck with his brown being a more dominant gene. I want to see what color hair she's born with (the sonogram a month or so ago showed a nice full head of hair). I want to count the wrinkles of her skin and just experience the awe she'll have at discovering the world around her. It will make this whole insane time worth it. She will be ours and we'll be hers and it'll be just the beginning of a most delightful adventure.