Life lately has felt like one trial after another. Our new car gets hit while parked in front of our home and needs work that will take a week to a week and a half. Garret has meetings that run late, mandatory study sessions for some test at work, and this is all occurring during a week where Nora is teething and sleeping fitfully because of it (a.k.a. not so great naps). It feels like I'm constantly with Nora and never see G and it's exhausting.
And I'm beyond frustrated. The house isn't getting cleaned and organized like I want to. G and I are having words over it. And I just want a vacation. To top it all off, yesterday we were so late to a lunch thing with our group at church that they'd already eaten. And we're new and it's awkward and just overwhelming. So I spent last night out of it, just distracted and introverted....bad enough that G kept asking if everything was okay. He wants me to start taking better care of me, to take time for me, and I laugh because I don't have time to think much less take a day to relax.
But you know what? That's life. It's messy. And I feel guilty complaining when I know how blessed my life is. My daughter who I thought I'd never have wakes up in the mornings absolutely delighted to see my face. She's begun leaning forward (in G's arms) to sort of fall into my arms when I hold them out. My husband who drives me batty and is as imperfect as I am is as active a parent with E as he can be. And he loves me even when I'm in a tizzy.
I don't want to raise a daughter sheltered from anything bad or uncomfortable. I want her to see the mess, to know that life is a tangled disaster half the time, and learn to not be a perfectionist like me. I want her to know that life goes on, even when it feels like it won't.
So I've whined enough. It's time to act like my midwestern background and pull myself up by the bootstraps and just move on. It's not the end of the world. My family is safe and happy. And I guess if friends don't like me when I'm a mess, then they aren't good friends. I need to stop worrying so much! So I'm going to pour a big mug of coffee, work on getting the bathroom neat and tidy and breathe a little.
How do you deal with stress?