Tuesday, July 2, 2013
My Heart Dances
Sometimes we try to put ourselves in boxes, check off items on a list of how we should be to fit some sort of category that could never encompass who we truly are.
But lately, my heart dances with a freedom that both lifts me and grounds me to this earth I love. I throw on a simple black maxi dress and sandals and I take hold of the little hand connected to the little person who watches and mimics and strives to dance in my footsteps. I find myself wandering down a sidewalk, excited for the adventure that is breathing and cloud watching and coffee drank by a toddler (oh my!).
I do not fit in a category. I am defined by my choices and there are too many wonderful things in this world to ever try to just be simple. I am a messy perfectionist. I am a realistic dreamer. I dance to Indian music in a restaurant because the beat moves in my soul and my shoulders and hips sway because there is no way they could not. And those eyes that follow me are in a head that sways as well. How strange that the title "Mama" would be the thing that set me free from trying to fit anything.
So I walk with my heart thumping to a tune I set with the life I am living. I do not shy from the fact that I am a woman whose walk draws eyes, because I was designed this way and He did a glorious job thankyouverymuch. I do not take the time to concern myself with those who would say I can't be this or that because I don't meet their narrow view of whatever that is. I laugh loudly when I am truly delighted and smile politely when I'm distracted and stop apologizing for either.
I pull back my mane and sway my hips to Macklemore, my feet stomping in a kitchen as I preserve food and never once does it occur to me that I am a contradiction in that moment to the girlie girl who loves to wear a floor length gown and buys jewels that are ridiculous. Both of these sides are just me and I am perfectly fine with that. I fought a war of which was more authentically me for far longer than battles should go on and finally cried out, "Enough."
I am enough. Enough of a woman, Christian, writer, mother, wife, dancer, dreamer, cook, spell binder. And I say to you, amazing person reading these words, that you too are enough. You too are glorious, complicated, and worthy of broken boxes.
at 11:48 PM