Sunday, October 18, 2009

Musings At 5 A.M.

I cannot sleep.  It's raining outside, and I am hyped up (although hoping to crash soon).  It's the first night in our home that I'm not completely freaking out.  In fact, I enjoyed unpacking, something I was sobbing about the night before.  So we'll see how this goes.  

And what does Kalee do when it's 4 a.m. and she cannot sleep?  Why she begins singing old songs to G as he drifts off.  Then she decides that that song must be sung more properly and hits up youtube.  Joe Cocker at Woodstock singing A Little Help From My Friends?  Perfect.  He's on stage, looking like he's seizing, and yet, I'm calmed.  What can I say?  It's the hippie in me.

I used to be much more of a hippie.  I once called my mom my freshman year of college to let her know she might have to bail me out of jail, that I was going to protest the upcoming war in Iraq.  She told me I was definitely born into the wrong era.  Now I've calmed down a bit, gotten comfortable with life, but still I am very opinionated politically, both about our own country and the state of the world.  Don't even get me started, because I have a tendency to just go off on a tangent.  Luckily as long as I don't let his bosses hear my wilder views my husband loves me for it.  He calls me his little dirty hippie.  

Someday I'll be my old self.  Someday I'll be "crunchy" and wear my baby and get back to my roots, wanting to feel the earth in my hands (both G and I have a strange need to work the earth).  I swear it's a miracle I didn't end up married to a singer living on a commune.  G doesn't sing much, nor does he have any desire to live in a place without basic amenities, so it won't be happening any time soon. Hmmph! 

(but his older brother is definitely a hippie type of guy and plays the guitar, writes his own songs and sings....I tease G that I picked the wrong brother!)  

For now I'll settle to having my mini moments, listening to Janis Joplin sing, then switching to Joni Mitchell.  "Tears and fears and feeling proud.  To say I love you right out loud."  I've felt that for G since the day I realized he was it for me.  That he loved me completely, dirty hippie side and all.  

Here's Joni Mitchell a couple years ago.  Her voice has changed, but it gives it more authenticity for the song in my personal opinion.


  1. What an awesome little post here. Great glimpse of you in there. Congrats on your new home!!