Joyful Heart

We walk into gardens, strolling past tulips and trees where children climb.  I spread out the quilt that my great grandmother hand pieced and quilted, slip off my shoes and Nora and I lay down, spread out while Garret gets the camera, snaps photos.  Little old ladies tell us she's beautiful, laughing because she smiles, knowing it's true because she hears it all the time...our vain little one.

I tell her that she is sweetness personified.  Garret smiles and says she is such a joyful baby. 

She smiles all the time, her eyes lighting up, her dimples creased.  One woman recently commented that she smiles with her eyes, and it's true as G tells her she smizes well enough to put Tyra Banks to shame.

I am amazed daily of the bond I have with her, this special surprise I wasn't sure I was ready for.  I constantly think, "My cup runneth over."

Here and Now

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I posted, which is strange for me.  But I've been busy living this life, and since most of my days are with Nora, the posts would be "Nora is doing such and such." :)

The reality is that currently my little world revolves around a 4 month old.  I go shopping and we come back with clothes and toys for her.  And that's okay. 

Motherhood (of any sort) is a strange calling.  You love it, you hate it.  Sometimes you think you're losing your mind and suck at it completely.  A woman while out walking recently said it was "the toughest job you'll ever love."  And while I can think of others (you know, like the presidency) that are tougher, I knew what she meant.

So here is my life.  Walking two miles to get coffee and adult conversation.  Showering with a squirmy baby who wishes she was not being washed.  Falling asleep with her curled into the hollow of my belly.  And making a gazillion faces in public that make me look like a fool.  The ups the downs....it may not be interesting, but it's my happy place right now.

Small Things Are Miraculous

I was asked to participate in a gathered thoughts writing prompt link up for LoveFeastTable.  They have a Gathered Thoughts wooden box with 365 pieces of thick paper with thought provoking words. I got to choose a writing prompt and I went with:

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on Earth. Everyday we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child---our own two eyes. All is a miracle."  Thich Nhat Hanh

For me, this was incredibly thought provoking.  I tend to think that I need to do big things.  That I have to be a super wife, and a super mom, and a super friend.  Go big or go home sort of thing.

But since having Nora I have begun to delight in the small things.  In the 2 years we've lived here, never before had I walked the 10 blocks to get coffee, except a few times on a market day with G.  In choosing to walk up there several times a week, I've seen so much beauty.  The tulip tree that is wide and blooming.  The tiny crocus that peeked out early in February thanks to a warm year.  The sidewalk chalk drawings of children in the neighborhood.  And the wind!  Nora loves to have a gentle wind blowing on her face.  She leans into it, closes her eyes and smiles.

Life is a miracle.  The small things are tiny pieces of a puzzle that turns into a beautiful life.  Pause.  Enjoy them.

I've got a quiche and a yogurt spiced pound cake in the oven.  I'm looking at making baked oatmeal tomorrow night for breakfast this weekend.  And I'm even attempting to make beans again. (Insane, I know!)

It's the new normal.  Nora sleeps all night, but she's been teething since 6 weeks and so my days can either be glorious and full of giggles or hell on earth, with her upset and unable to be consoled.  It helps that lately, any day that is sunny, we've been walking.  Walking the 10 blocks to coffee.  Walking 2 miles to meet a friend to chat for a bit.  Walking just to take in the sunshine and birds singing and all of that zippity doo dah stuff. 

And I think I can see God more lately.  In the way He's drawn us to Him through unexpected twists and turns of life.  Not just in the good, but in the bad and hitting my knees moments too.  And I can see how He's using the bad to bring about good.  The strained relationship that's causing me to appreciate another one more.  The hurt that's making me work harder to be a better me. 

I'm not superwoman.  I've tried and my cape got twisted and I fell.  My kitchen and living room are messy.  For once my bedroom seems to be the most organized room in the house (which is good because my new mattress will be delivered tomorrow and the furniture is ready to be delivered).  My dogs need baths and nail trimmings and probably therapy as I've been insisting they stay out of my kitchen lately and it seems to perplex them. 

Life is hard and wonderful and so worth the moments I'm in. 

My Opinion On Living

This year is to be a journey for me, to change the things about myself I want to change--- to learn to live well more often.  Even with the insanity of a 8 week old who has decided to attach herself like velcro to me, I'm attempting to read more, to watch more documentaries, and to get out and explore the culture in the area I live in more.  This weekend is an art museum and a string quartet. 

As G and I discuss how to live, I sum it up as this: Plan as if you'll live to 150, live as if you'll die tomorrow. 

Life is for living, and living well at that.  To spend money on things of beauty that bring you joy, to seek out experiences that earn a chapter in the book of your life, these are the things that make a life well lived.  I'm going about this year with the intention to form habits that form the life I have sought for these past few years. 

I am using my silver, and splurging on beautiful things. I'm reading books that are classics, and watching documentaries on food and history.  I'm pouring over the Smithsonian's schedule for music and art and attending lectures that interest my mind.  I'm taking a cupcake decorating class...and I've never even baked cupcakes before! And I'm choosing to not do things that don't interest me, when I used to do them out of a sense of obligation. 

What do you think constitutes a well lived life?  Are there any things you might be able to do to live better?

Time Doesn't Stand Still

Today I feel like I should get my own sort of reward. My first solo Target shopping trip with Eleanor and I survived. I went in for house items, didn't get any of the things on my list, though I did look at what I needed to and took pics for G. Midway through Nora began her "I'm only happy if you hold me on your shoulder" cry so I quickly got her out of her car seat and picked her up.

She was fine after that and I ended up with a cart load of clearance items, all of which G was perfectly fine with. Grey suede wedges which fulfill the grey shoes on my wardrobe database. Some gold earrings that look similar to some I've tried on at Tiffany's that I would never in a million years pay thousands for. Mercury glass votive holders that we've been wanting for our dining room. A blue wool cardigan for me and a red coat for Nora for next year. A dress for her now (that I've had my eye on) that will transition to a shirt for next fall/winter. And some huge floor pillows that I got for less than $2 that will work great for our vicious games of scrabble!

Now she sleeps. I'm worn, knowing we still have to finish preparing the office for my mother's arrival. I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to do, but with Eleanor either G or I have to be with her at all times. She sleeps well at night, but it means she's up when we are most of the day, which doesn't allow us to get much done. Still I remind myself of the advice people gave me for this time period, to soak her up and not worry about the house. I'm trying to, really!

I'm learning to let go of trying to have a perfectly tidy home for now. To accept that spending my days drinking in this time with my daughter are worth more to me than having a home that's completely clean and orderly. The laundry is piling up, I desperately need to mop, and we still have an entire basement of totes to go through and donate/organize but we'll get to it soon enough. Those tasks can wait, these moments in life won't.

To Impart

I've spent some time recently thinking about what I want this daughter of mine to learn from me. And I quickly realized that it's all things I've hoped to impart here to you readers. I suppose it's good that I'm nothing if not consistent. Here are a few things I firmly believe in:

* Use your china. Saving it for a rainy day is ridiculous. Those you surround yourself with should be those you value the most...they deserve your best.
* Screw being practical sometimes. Buy that white item for your wardrobe or that glass item to sit out, even if you have kids. But be practical about stylish flats when you are traveling.
* Tennis shoes/athletic apparel is for the gym. Not for foreign travel. Invest in comfortable but stylish traveling clothing. I don't even wear that stuff on our long road trips.
* Love freely. Don't hold back affection from those you love. Life is too damn short for a stiff upper lip mentality.
* But hold your cards closer than the average American with strangers. Don't give your life story away to everyone.
* Buy less, invest in more. More into your retirement, more in quality clothing, more into life memories. But not on credit (at least none you aren't paying off each month).
* What you eat is directly applicable to your health. Stop thinking in quick fix mentalities. Eat better food, eat less and move a bit. I guarantee it's the best diet.
* Everything in moderation. Too much of anything is bad for you. It's a universal truth.
* Tough love is tough, hence the name. No one grows up by being coddled or enabled.
* Find something you love to do even if it doesn't pay well (or at all).
* "Living within your means" means not having to worry so much about making more.
* Buy the poufy dress or fancy tux. Wear it. Twirl.
* Happiness is found not in the poufy dress, but in the twirling.

I haven't been so good about posting my days of thankfulness, though it's been on my mind daily. Today I'm thankful that I have a partner in crime who will read that list and completely agree with it. A man who lets me rant about the exact opposite of all of it, and who feels as passionate about a well lived life as I do.

I'm a week from their "guess date." Sleep doesn't come easy, when it comes at all. So I've had a ridiculous amount of time to think on all of this. If I kept going the list would be as long as an actual novel (with more details added in). Perhaps some day I'll write it for her. What it essentially comes down to is choosing to live a life where you actually live, but in a healthy way...physically, mentally, and financially. It's not easy all the time, but life is happier when I live by that.

If you could give your closest friends one piece of advice on life, what would it be?

Rainy Days And Mondays

I love The Carpenters, but today their song is a little wrong.  I'm loving this day so far, it's set to get better (super busy), and if it rains, well, that just means for a relaxing bit of time!

The rain here has been keeping it a bit cooler as we (hopefully) edge our way into fall.  And I really suppose I'm looking forward to opportunities to put on my rain boots and tramp my way through puddles on an adventurous walk to a museum.  I found myself even singing "Singing in the Rain" in the shower the other day!

I've got errands to run, and coffee to drink, and music to turn way up loud and dance to.  Won't you join me in celebrating Monday?

Really Seeing

G has loved having this time in the middle east.  At least once a week he says to me, "I hope it's stable enough for us to come back someday."  He talks about it being a beautiful, but very much war torn country.  His heart breaks when he hears other disparage it, reminding them that a dictator tore it up for kicks for decades.  So yes, it's a poor country in many ways.  But the culture and the people of it are beautiful. 

I love countries that are so different from our own.  As much as I love metropolitan areas, my favorites from my trip a couple years ago were definitely Turkey and Egypt.  I found both to have this sort of hospitality mindset that was surprising.  This warmth.  Their countries might in some ways not be as "sophisticated" as ours, but their pride in it was beautiful. 

I had picked up a large pashmina in Turkey at a local market that I wear all the time.  And I bought a couple scarves with gold threads woven in from a boy in Egypt.  So when G said he was going shopping I told him I would love to have a scarf from Iraq.  He found one today in a shop that a local he knows/works with was the best on base.  It's beautiful, warm colors that I can't wait to wear this fall. 

I want us to go to these places some day.  To be able to safely walk around the market places and take tea at a small cafe.  To see some of our faith's sites, because they are spread all throughout the middle east. Until then, we have photos, and a scarf to remind us of this place we hope to tread in the future.

Intentional Living

I found this quote on pinterest (I'm sooo addicted!), and thought it was perfect.  I was just discussing on my french chic board about having to choose the way you live, every tiny decision, rather than just going through the motions and following the masses.

I feel most out of sorts when I'm simply going through the motions and doing things out of habit.  Not that habits are bad, some are very good, but life should be lived thoughtfully.  I'm extremely blessed to have a husband who recognizes the ebbs and flows and will remind me not to lose myself.  Who gently states, "Oh there Kate is" when I've found my way back from allowing too much noise to affect my life. 

Living a life of intention isn't always easy.  It takes thinking about things more carefully.  I've found with fashion I have to ask myself, "Is this something I love or is this something I've simply seen so often that I think I should love it?"  I often have to remind myself that even though I grew up with the "clean plate" rule that that doesn't work for me, and I don't have to eat a whole meal if I feel done. 

Intentional living for me is simply asking myself these questions: "Is this me?", "Do I love this?", "Does doing this make me happy?"  I've learned to be okay with the contradictions, because no person is flat without facets.  I've learned to quietly remind another that what may work for them, what they may love is their own path.

So today I'm encouraging you to be thoughtful in your day.  To ask yourself questions, from the smallest thing to the biggest.  "Do I really like eating this cereal or has it become a habit I just do?"  "Does this outfit make me smile and feel like myself or did I put it on because I just needed to wear something?"  And the harder, "Does this person bring good into my life or am I keeping the friendship out of fear of change?"

You deserve a life you've intentionally carved out. 

*And I highly recommend pinterest.  I've noticed that by my random pinnings on a fashion inspiration board, that I can clearly see a pattern with what I love.  When you're pinning things that capture you, you can't hide what makes you "you."

Supporting The Community

I will be the first to admit that I love things from France, England, and Italy (depending on what we're discussing).  Our favorite brand of pasta is Italian, our favorite breakfast addition is Heinz baked beans (a British thing, and yes we make people try it!), and France has too many things to name.  And that's just food.  I also love products from there (clothing, jewelry, kitchen items).  I think in the end if you are as careful with your purchases as we are, you will be attempting to get the best item you can afford that will last a long time. 

Image from City Paper... this is only one room of the restaurant

But, I'm also huge into supporting local businesses.  I've gotten to the point where I really prefer local coffee houses, restaurants, patisseries and bakeries (still searching for an excellent bakery here).  I'm not a fan of chain restaurants, since I find that the food is generally not as thought out or exciting...large bland portions are not where I want to spend my money.  Our first love here, Clementine is not just a restaurant that uses as much local produce (and now eggs) that they can, but their meats are usually done in house, since they are also a charcuterie.  Their bacon is delicious.  The owners are fantastic people--- it's a husband and wife who really care about their food.  And they serve our local Zeke's fair trade organic blend of coffee cheap... $1.50 for unlimited refills! 

The tree outside the yarn store!

I also have been trying to give my business to locals when I feel they are offering just as good of a service.  My knitting classes are at a local place called Lovelyarns rather than going to a place like JoAnn's.  What I love about this place is the friendliness of the owner and her teachers, and that she has quality yarn... including some locally dyed and spun!  I'm still on the hunt for other local places for things like pet care (Audrey needs to be groomed and after asking a bunch of people and no good recommendations, I'm gonna have to break down and take her to PetSmart soon), furniture restoration (we're having my grandmother's dining table restored before the baby comes), and I'm on the hunt for a bicycle shop to restore a couple old bikes that a friend's mother (after I offered to buy them) is graciously giving us. 

And then there is food.  One Straw Farm is our CSA and I will stick with them unless we ever reach a point where we're not in the area.  They have been absolutely fantastic, and I cannot gush about them enough.  Through their links we've also contacted a couple other farms: one to try and get into their chicken co-op for next year ($200 upfront, but 2 chickens a month that are outside, on grass, no hormones or antibiotics...and we love some roasted chicken!) and another farm to stock up a deep freezer with pastured beef, pork, lamb, and goat (we may need 2 freezers!).  And of course we try and get local, truly free-range eggs when we can.  Our milk situation is a bit tricky, but currently we're drinking grass-fed organic milk from the store until after the baby comes. 

I think supporting your local farms and small businesses is an excellent way to keep the area around you chic and more economically sound.  And remember, places like that will remember you, you will form relationships, and you will be the better for it.

What A Friday Night Looks Like

Me, with my scarf from Cairo, heading out for coffee and to get my computer looked at.  Exciting night folks.

Kir Royale and a toast to our adventures?  Yes, indeed!

I also made Croque Madames for dinner with serrano ham, gruyere and part of a boule loaf (just means round) with a fried egg on top.  Forgot to take a pic of the final product, but boy was it tasty!

Friday was just the beginning to what is looking like an excellent weekend!

Coffee Sort Of Day

Today is the first time I've made it out of the house during the day in over a week.  And honestly, after cleaning the kitchen (as in, deep cleaning and hand washing dishes sort of cleaning) and baking blueberry muffins until 2:30 in the morning I feel like today is a coffee sort of day.  I for one will never be pledging to give up caffeine, no matter what my doctor may advise (and yes, it's been said that perhaps I have a somewhat high caffeine intake). 

This morning as G tried to rouse me, I blearily stared at him with only my upper face peering out of the covers and mumbled something about a glass of milk and a muffin (which thank goodness for his sake was quickly retrieved!).  I had an idea of what I wanted to wear, so it was fairly quick going to get ready, though it might have seemed comical as I hopped around with tights on one leg and then had to be buttoned into my coat by G because I had wet nails (I ruined mine last night cleaning).  Normally I wouldn't have bothered with all of that, but today I have a lunch to attend for my spouse group for G's job.  It's my first time meeting these women, and it includes some people that one would wish to make a very good impression on, so I'm dressed nice but casual: black cotton dress with my chunky Ann Taylor grey and metallic thread cardigan with wine colored fishnet-y tights and black boots (I don't know what you would call these tights, they're lacy).  My hair is still in the chignon it was in cleaning last night that I slept in, so it has a slightly rumpled sort of cute look, but will be tumbling down into curls before lunch time. 

I've also got a dinner to go to tonight at a restaurant at one of the art museum's here in Charm City.  It's a great group of women who I always have a good time with, so though I feel like perhaps I've overbooked my energy level, I couldn't say no.  Though perhaps I will be abstaining from the wine tonight.

I've said it before and I mean it now more than ever: I finally feel like we're making a life here in this city.  We've got friends who I actually would define as friends rather than acquaintances.  I'm planning on inviting everyone over for a cocktail party before G leaves, and doing a girl's brunch soon after.  These are people whose company both of us truly enjoy.  Women who I can't wait until it's warmer and we can start having coffee dates out in the beautiful weather.  And besides those, I'm acquiring people I like seeing, even with all of our crazy schedules.  Not as before where I was trying to make friendships work because I felt I needed to, but because I want to.  And with those I've known for a while, I'm becoming much more comfortable with them, planning to throw a nice brunch at home rather than having us all go out (which is how we all met!). 

Besides that, I'm becoming more familiar with the city.  The streets no longer really confuse me, and I've become an expert u-turner (which is actually very common here).  I know good places for coffee, good places for a leisurely meal with wine, and places to go if you want it to be more loud and fun.  I still miss England, but I now associate this as home a bit more.  And being less than an hour from D.C. and only about 3 hours from NYC has it's perks.  (Though I've never been to NYC we are planning to go this fall with "bouquet(s) of freshly sharpened pencils.")

So I'll sit here and I'll drink my coffee and try to look awake.  After all, the day is just ripe with possibilities and it wouldn't do to sleep through them. 

Thundersnow

Today we've had large pea sized hail, followed immediately by snow that's flakes were the size of quarters, with the amazing add in of lighting and thunder.  We braved the snow for Indian food, and were rewarded with a container of kheer (rice pudding) to go because the waiter felt guilty they were closing early.  

 One of the "flakes" of snow.....it was falling in clumps.

A couple of hours ago.....the snow continues.

I love the snow!  Even more I love that most likely will be a snow day tomorrow for G! 

Slowing Down

Tonight I'm attempting Shepherd's Pie.  I couldn't find any non-hormone ground lamb so I am using ground beef, which has been browned.  Other than that step I'll be following the recipe from Country Cooking of Ireland (which calls for the onions and carrots to be softened and then add the beef).  I'm excited for a simple meal and we'll be eating some sort of green veggie with it (we have brussels sprouts, broccoli and peas to choose from). 

I loved last winter here.  The joy of spending all night hanging out in our kitchen, with music or a movie on and something in the oven.  I'd sit and watch old movies with G at the table while I sewed or knitted and we'd drink tea and use candlelight.  So simple and yet we were just happy to be there in that moment.  And with the possibility of big snows this month I'm eager to get the house all homey with fresh from the oven bread.

Things have been different lately.  I've been different.  More introspective.  We have my baby brother coming for a visit later this month and I am so super excited!  He is the bane to my foodie side, and yet I love him to pieces.  He's quirky with a sense of humor that is sly and surprises me all the damn time.  G and he get along really well so I'm looking forward to the 3 of us spending many nights chilling with some homemade hot cocoa playing board games until the wee hours.  

Does the winter time make you slow down and enjoy simplicity more?  Or do you feel like it's so crazy busy you can hardly catch your breath?

Am I The Only One?

Who wears an outfit two days in a row if I only wore it for a short while the evening before?  Needless to say I wore it for less than 3 hours last night and today, in an attempt to get out the door quickly, I threw the whole thing (well, clean under things of course!) back on.  Which leads me to why you get a snap shot of me in the Trader Joe bathroom today.  I suppose I could have posted it claiming it was from last night, but I'm just keeping it real.

Jeans:  They're my old Old Navy ones that I paint furniture in...shh.

Flats with Metal Studded Bows: Gap

Handbag:  Gerard Darel

Long Black Shirt: Gap

Leather Jacket:  Jaeger

Scarf: Charity Shop, England

Necklaces:  Bead For Life*

Earrings: new silver hoops I picked up today from a lovely little locally owned jewelry store!

Sunglasses:  Gucci

I love outfits like this, a bit high end, a bit low end, but none of the high end I actually paid full price for.  Which sorta suits me just fine (I *might* be working on being less tight fisted).  

Bead for Life is an organization that teaches Ugandan women how to make beads from recycled magazines to make gorgeous necklaces.  Ashleigh of Heart & Home, whom I met at the conference had these necklaces.  I couldn't decide, she said to just take two, and I've been speaking about them ever since!  31 Bits is a similar organization that is also amazing.  If you're looking for a great Christmas gift that has some meaning, please shop these stores, or consider hosting a party.  It's a beautiful way to support women halfway around the world.  (Bead for Life also has shea butter products as well as loose beads if you want to create your own necklace!) 

We Interrupt Your Show

Eventually we will get back to regular programming around here.  I had so many ideas for this blog before I attended the conference.  And while it's been a relief to finally lighten my load, I do want to start posting normally again. 

However first I want to say a huge thank you for all of your comments and e-mails.  I am truly, truly blessed.  And I am more grateful than I could ever express.  I felt so alone in my grief and silence and in the last couple of days I have felt nothing but peace.  I have been allowing myself to cry, but also to hope for the future as G and I discuss things.  

And I want to state that although I am lacking in one area, I most definitely have been blessed in many others.  I have a husband who thinks I am amazing and who made me a "Welcome Home" sign that included the initials of our animals, and who not only cleaned but cooked me a meal from scratch (with pesto and broccoli!) so I didn't have to cook.  I have family and friends who are always there for me and who have allowed me to share in all of the mess of their lives.  I have a home that is cozy in the winter (which is upon us).  And I have 3 animals who are pretty sure my stories of adopting them are bologna, including a kitten who must absolutely be curled up near me when he's ready to sleep and other times is diabolically trying to kill our computer (I kid you not every time I walk away from the open computer he mutes it and turns the screens light waaay down, amongst other things).  

I do not have it all.  I don't even have it all together or most of it, and some days I feel like a complete mess.  I named my blog as something to aspire to and am slowly learning to see a chic life not as a perfect life, but as a life of not taking moments for granted, for really appreciating the good things around me.  I told my husband the other day, "Wherever you go, there you are.  You cannot hide from yourself for long."  The mess I've been avoiding is proving to be beautiful.

Some Day

Some day we're going to own some land, and my hands will finally feel the earth in them as I break ground on a garden.  

Some day we'll keep bees for honey, goat's and a cow for milk, butter and cheese, and chickens for eggs.

Some day we'll have a few fruit trees, and I'll keep apples, plums, and hopefully figs fresh and canned year round.

Some day I'll have a flower garden, completely for cutting and keeping roses, hydrangea, hyacinth, peonies and tulips around my home.

Some day we'll have a pond for fishing, which we'll stock with all the catfish G can eat and more.

Some day I'll have a cellar, cool and ready to be filled.  Rows upon rows of shelves with food we grow ourselves.

Some day we'll have a stockpile of wood for a fireplace we gather round in the winter.

Some day each bed will have a quilt and there will be a pile of them in a chest.

Today we lay around dreaming aloud, talking of that day that hopefully isn't too far away.  My husband told me the other night that he never envisioned me wanting these things.  That I'm a city girl, through and through, he had thought.  But this city girl bleeds green, and the earth has always called to her.  So long as it's not too far from a city.....a woman needs to be able to buy wine!

What Makes A Chic Life?

My blog is supposed to be all about living this chic life that G and I enjoy, no apologies.  But at times I have felt anything but chic.  As our marriage went through it's difficult period.  As we struggled to make friends in the places we were sent to.  As we went the lazy route and ate frozen pizzas because they only took 10 minutes and we could eat them quick.  But lately, life has felt wonderful.  And it has me thinking about what is chic to us? 

I think it can be categorized simply:  good food, good wine, good friends, great times. 

Food is the obvious one.  We take our time eating, generally spreading it out in courses to last an hour or three.  We set the table nicely, with our china and candles.  We put our silverware down in between bites and engage in conversation.  It's a sensory experience and one that makes or breaks an evening.

Good wine doesn't have to be expensive.  For that matter we've found plenty of bottles for around $10-$15 that were delicious.  If the first sip was just okay, we decant and let it air out.  Sparkling wine is less than $20 and we like to celebrate the little things in life.

Good friends are slowly being made.  G is naturally less social, he holds back more, and after being burned in England I tend to be a bit more reserved, a little more cautious in friendships.  But lately I've been meeting up with amazing people who I find myself wanting to throw a dinner party just to get everyone together!

Great times are had when we take the time to slow down and enjoy the moments rather than keep waiting impatiently for something better.  Whether it's a stroll through an art museum or simply sitting with a glass of wine and enjoying the nice weather, we've chosen to make thoughtful choices for our time.  Rather than rushing from one thing to another, we make sure we have plenty of time where we can be spontaneous, where we can go off on mini adventures or simply curl up with a good book. 

There will be more posts like this as I try to write down (to help myself find words for) what I want my life to always look like.  It helps keep me on the track that brings the most happiness to my life.  

My Rock, My Home

"I will never be a stranger.  I will never be alone.  Cause deep inside of me I know that wherever you are, is home."  -- Dave Barnes, Home

This is to G.  My rock.  The man who I am excited to watch grow from the boy I first knew into a man I am proud to be married to.  Slowly.  Baby steps.  But he's reaching and finding his ground.  We spent our quiet moments together this last weekend just being.  We spoke little, cherished many moments.  A stolen kiss in the kitchen.  A whispered conversation in the dark.  Dreams of the future and the here and now.  

And suddenly my heart feels different.  Suddenly I feel all grown up.  He's far from perfect and I'm far from a picnic to live with.  But here we are.  And I have never felt happier or more at peace.  Suddenly God's whispers to my heart make sense and I realize that the home I always wanted I've found in him, through Him.  And for the first time it's more than just words.  I'm home.  

I love you Bunny.  To Vega and back.