Today I feel like I should get my own sort of reward. My first solo Target shopping trip with Eleanor and I survived. I went in for house items, didn't get any of the things on my list, though I did look at what I needed to and took pics for G. Midway through Nora began her "I'm only happy if you hold me on your shoulder" cry so I quickly got her out of her car seat and picked her up.
She was fine after that and I ended up with a cart load of clearance items, all of which G was perfectly fine with. Grey suede wedges which fulfill the grey shoes on my wardrobe database. Some gold earrings that look similar to some I've tried on at Tiffany's that I would never in a million years pay thousands for. Mercury glass votive holders that we've been wanting for our dining room. A blue wool cardigan for me and a red coat for Nora for next year. A dress for her now (that I've had my eye on) that will transition to a shirt for next fall/winter. And some huge floor pillows that I got for less than $2 that will work great for our vicious games of scrabble!
Now she sleeps. I'm worn, knowing we still have to finish preparing the office for my mother's arrival. I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to do, but with Eleanor either G or I have to be with her at all times. She sleeps well at night, but it means she's up when we are most of the day, which doesn't allow us to get much done. Still I remind myself of the advice people gave me for this time period, to soak her up and not worry about the house. I'm trying to, really!
I'm learning to let go of trying to have a perfectly tidy home for now. To accept that spending my days drinking in this time with my daughter are worth more to me than having a home that's completely clean and orderly. The laundry is piling up, I desperately need to mop, and we still have an entire basement of totes to go through and donate/organize but we'll get to it soon enough. Those tasks can wait, these moments in life won't.