Thursday, January 14, 2010

Minor Rant That Disrupts An Otherwise Lovely Day

I got lost.  On base.  I blame Jemima.  That's our GPS system.  Yes, hello, haven't you caught on, of course we named her!  G has programmed her with a British voice, so Jemima it is.  And Jemima apparently doesn't understand restricted areas.  She had me turn down a road that was NSA restricted access.  I had been warned before that the NSA cops were usually jerks.  But I couldn't turn around (there were cars behind me) so I drove up to the cop and told him (pointing to Jemima) that she had gotten me lost, and that I was trying to find a friend's home that I had never been to.  He told me it was a good thing I had come down and talked to him because if I had made a U Turn then heaven's to betsy the guy would have sent a cop to chase my ass down.  Lovely, right?

I was then questioned.  Yes, questioned like a freakin' terrorist.  First I was asked if I was an American citizen.  I rolled my eyes and answered yes.  Yes, I know many spouses aren't, but if you had met me, heard my voice and seen my outfit (well, I guess I must have better taste in clothing than the women this particular man hangs out with) you would not have doubted my authenticity as an American.  A dress from Gap, a coat from Old Navy. Sure they were probably made in some sweat shop in a faraway land, but it was pretty clear I wasn't rocking a bomb.  Although I did have a cake sitting in the passenger seat under my grandmother's vintage aluminum cake dome, so who knows?

I was asked not for my spouse ID, but my driver's license "to confirm you are who you say you are."  Damnit, I just wanted to turn around and not be late for my get together, but oh holy hell, I might be a "probe" (G explained this terminology to me later).  I then made the mistake of saying, "My husband works at the agency, I know it's restricted, I'm not trying to get there it's just my GPS told me to turn here and before I saw the sign it was too late."  (the nice cop told me this happens frequently)  The cop who had a stick somewhere even my dog wouldn't chase it to then repeated "your husband works here?"  Then I was asked for his social and they called, yes called into the agency to confirm his identity.  I told them he was not there this week, that he was in class, and why the hell do they need to confirm he works there when I just want to make a u-turn and be on my way?  After 5 minutes of backing up returning from lunch traffic and the jerk cop standing at the back of my car they confirmed G's name and were gonna let me turn around.  

But as he lifted the gate and the nice cop stopped the coming traffic the jerk said to me "make sure you don't drive past him."  For the love of all that is American I did not want on the freaking complex!  Thank God the new friend I met today turned out to be absolutely lovely or otherwise this would have been a wasted experience!


  1. What a mess just to turn around! I can picture this in my head. Lol. Hope you made it to your friend's house on time.

  2. It happens! I've been a military spouse for 16+ years, and he normally works in a "restricted area". You just put up with it, it's part-of the job!! I always tell myself to breath, and remember that although it's an inconvenience, I'd rather have them do their job right and check you out, than let someone who isn't "just lost" get somewhere they shouldn't be. I like your blog. We were in England too, and lived in Swaffham. I loved Bury's market too.

  3. I call my GPS Sean, as I have it on the Irish guy setting!