Obviously with the new petit addition to our family coming, my goals for this time away from G have changed majorly. (Oh, and for those who are curious, apparently the escargot is the size of a key lime!) Here was what I had planned for this summer, and how that is now changing:
* Losing the last 35-45 lbs.-- It would have put me at my perfect medically healthy weight, however, I'm now looking at gaining 25-30. Joy. I'm not really concerned though, hopefully the breastfeeding will take that off pretty quickly. And it's all for a good cause, right?
* Dyeing my hair-- Um, yeah, I have grey hairs, have for years. Now they're beginning to bug me. I say they either need to come all in and have me chic with a silver white shoulder length bob, or they need to go away. I'm still looking into options for this, since I know they recommend not dyeing your hair while pregnant. (But let's face it, I'll probably work something out with my stylist about ventilation and do it anyways....I'm a risk taker like that.)
* Putting extensions in for volume-- While I have nice thick hair, it's also super fine, and with the hard water I've lost quite a bit of it. When you move back from England and your stylist gasps and asks what you've done you know it's bad. I'm supposed to be installing a water softener, but have been too tired to deal with setting that up. I'm not sure whether I'll be bothering with the extensions now or not, seems like a lot of a hassle for a pregnant woman.
* Eyelash extensions-- My eyes are my best feature....random strangers comment on them frequently. But I'm so tired of dealing with the eyelash curler and mascaras. I need to look into whether or not I can get this done while pregnant, but I don't see why not (in fact, you have to keep your eyes closed while they do it, so it might be a nice nap). It may be my little treat before G comes home.
* Running-- I was going to be continuing with my goal. I still plan to walk briskly and jog throughout this pregnancy (once I can go more than a couple hours without needing a nap), but running is kind of out for the moment. (We had a bit of a minor scare when we first found out we were pregnant and so I don't plan to do anything to risk my lower abdomen getting injured.) Look for next year's post on how to go running after having a baby when you're not a natural born runner.
* Lingerie-- Specifically French and Italian luxe silk and lace lingerie. Hmmm....this is about as out as our trip to Paris. I'm currently looking into the fun world of nursing bras and hoping to find some pretty/sexy ones as well. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
* Jeans-- I had planned as one of my final rewards for the weight goals to buy a pair or two of nice designer jeans that fit me perfectly (I'm a fan of J Brand). The closest I am coming to this is Joe's Jeans maternity jeans, and I'm only considering those.
* Green silk dress-- My final, kept the weight off for 2 months reward was going to be a custom fitted one shouldered green silk dress from Europe. I've been in love with this piece for ages. However, it's obviously out for another year. Instead I'm hoping to have a silk dress made for my final month of pregnancy, because I am not giving up on my goal to see The Nutcracker in D.C. this year. It might be our final nice date out before the little one arrives.
* Make-up lessons-- One of my goal rewards was going to be to find a place and take some make-up lessons. I'm a failure at blush, and I feel so lost trying to do my eyes. I think I'm still going to be doing this as a reward for being pregnant while G's gone (I love making up reasons why I need to do this). My reasoning is that if I don't find the time to do it now, I sure as hell won't find the time later. And as much as I love make-up it would be a worthwhile investment of time and a little money.
Yes, most of these goals had to do with outward appearances. I was planning to shock the hell out of my husband when he came home. I think a basketball on the front of my body will be shocking enough, though. The things like working on my French and learning knitting I'm still doing. And I would still love to work on my violin. If I can get my fingers flying again then I plan to begin searching for a new violin (I still have my student one I've had since I was 10), an antique preferably with a deep sorrowful tone. I plan to have my children learn music (strings, piano, and percussion as a nod to G), so it will be good for me, and eventually good for them (I'd also like to learn the cello, an instrument I used to be able to play a bit on).
It's been a hard week for me. I've finally hit the point of mild panic where I've had to mourn what I'm giving up to have this child. Not that I've had any second thoughts, simply an acceptance of what will be changing. I think too many women say to themselves, "Oh, get over it, it's all worth it." But I think to be mentally healthy you need to also acknowledge that the changes are going to be big, and may not all be as welcome as you'd like to pretend. It's about accepting them, realizing you don't have to lose you, and finding new goals for the interim. Chic is not about life being perfect, it's about accepting all of life and finding your niche to love.