Can I be honest? I'm not so sure this blog is working out for me anymore. It's caused some personal strife, and it's weighed heavy on my heart. I had a new design done and all that did was increase the pressure on me, which plainly stinks.
I started this blog years ago as a way to gather my thoughts for myself and to record my adventures as a newlywed living overseas. And it was great. It was my space to write, and it felt like a relief to have some place to record it all.
And then I started feeling like I needed to focus more on things that represent my idea of this chic life. When in reality it was a pain in the rear sometimes trying to think of what on earth to blog about. I'm in a different season. I'm a mess. For instance today E cried anytime she wasn't either nursing or chewing/drooling on some body part of mine. I wanted to scream. I at one point called G because I was losing my mind (and the feeling in my left arm). And just a few minutes ago I finally let it all out and had a good cry and told G that I was losing my mind and that I sucked at motherhood because I just wanted her to shut up and go to sleep. He's a rockstar and currently dancing with her while playing what is probably questionable music...so glad she only gets beats and doesn't understand words yet.
So I'm stuck. I'm not sure whether to wipe the slate clean with this blog and start over or simply begin another. Writing is therapeutic so I don't want to give it up. But I'm feeling more like writing about me, my extreme failures at homemaking (might as well let the cat out of that bag), my frustrations as a mother, etc. I want this to be more authentic, more of what makes my life chic, even if it isn't ideal. I may lose some readers, and that's okay. I need to get back to writing for me, though I do hope it can bring some "I'm not the only one" feeling for others.
Because I may be wiping away all the previous posts, if you have a favorite recipe or such, now might be the time to write it down. (Or you can always e-mail me.) It may be quiet here for a bit while I gather my thoughts (and my sanity). Thanks for your understanding.