I Nearly Didn't

I nearly didn't remember.  I nearly didn't post.  I thought, everyone else is, you have nothing to say.  And then I thought.  Next spring I will be a wife with a husband who's in a country because of that day.  

I remember...a teacher running into our college history class to tell us there had been an attack.  We didn't believe him.

I remember...turning the t.v. on just in time to see the second tower hit live.

I remember...being more terrified than I had ever been, sure the world was ending.

I remember...my 8 year old brother asking why somebody would hate us, why they would do that.

I remember...having no answers.

But what I know now is this, those lives had meaning.  I hope their families know we think of them, even if it's while sitting and reading a book.  I know that hate is not the answer.  That Afghan food is some of my favorite, and the men at the restaurant are friendly and kind.  I know that to forget what our country stands for, our rights and diversity, is only to invite trouble back in.  Burning a book to purposefully incite is not right, it is not Christian, and it makes me ashamed.  And I know that some day we will get there.  Some day we will remember not just the day, but that all people of different races, nationalities, and religious beliefs died that day.  And that they deserve to be remembered with honor, not anger. 

I remember today. 

Praying

Lately I've been putting a lot of trust in God, and giving things up to Him.  I've learned the hard way that my way doesn't work.  That the plans I made can crumble easily.  That the things I wanted turned out not the be the things I needed.  I don't want this to turn into a sanctimonious blog, since that isn't me and it wouldn't be authentic.  I am a Christian, but this blog is not a religious blog.  However occasionally I will be sharing things I (and G) have been praying about, and for those of you who pray, please feel free to add these to your list!


The beautiful Bobbi of When Did I Go From a Kid To A Grown Up  is dealing with the loss of her 2nd child at 13 weeks.  I am praying that she finds peace in the way she is handling it, and for when it is God's time that she will conceive again and give the adorable Ian a younger sibling.


My oldest brother who acting like a fool right now.  I love him, but really don't like him right now, and I am praying that within time he will see what a mess he has made and work hard to turn his life around.


For my Grandmama who is hopefully getting better as they try and find the right medications for her Parkinson's.  I have spent many hours on my knees this past year praying that we will all be okay, no matter what outcome there is.  


For my marriage, that Garret and I become stronger with our faith and beliefs.  We are both working hard to make our marriage the marriage it was always supposed to be.


I am also praying hard about the Relevant Conference.  My biggest fear is that I will stick out like a sore thumb and feel awkward.  I also am worried what will happen if my marriage fails, to sign up for something in the fall is taking a leap of faith that I am struggling with.  


That if (when) I sign up for the conference that I am able to find a few other women to room with to help with the cost of the hotel.  


I am also praising Him for the beautiful weather we have been having lately, the signs of Spring, the good friends and family I have.


Today we also did something I think might seem odd, but we prayed for those over in the Middle East.  Not our men, but the men we are fighting.  That they would quit fighting and return to the families that love them.  That they would find peace in their hearts.  It's something I urge other military wives (or anyone) to do, since a problem needs to be healed from both sides.