Cold Coffee

This morning I am drinking cold coffee.  Why?  Because my husband made it for me this morning before he left for work.  At the time I was exhausted, thanked him, and left it sitting on my night stand.  When I awoke this morning I looked over, smiled and cold or not, drank it.  Because he made it.  Because he made the effort.  


This weekend was amazing for the two of us.  It flew by far too fast, we didn't get a whole lot done around the house.  But we spent time giggling.  We chased each other around the dining room table for reasons I don't even remember.  We hung out with friends last night until whoa late.  And G was different.


Suddenly he is more outgoing.  I was amazed at how out of his shell he's being with these friends.  He's also self assured.  He's been making efforts.  He has made us/me coffee several times for waking up.  He's slowly allowing himself to just ramble, to not over think what he's saying to me.  And damn if this new man doesn't seem sexier to me.  He feels it too.


I'm spending today cleaning my butt off.  I have a cool mid-century bookcase for the living room that I need to prime and paint as well.  Solid wood, interesting lines, all for $20.  It's perfection.  


I'm still thinking of flying out tomorrow or Wednesday.  I put off booking the flight because G asked me to.  He asked for a short time to show me he could change.  But also because I didn't want to have to leave.  Now I want to, but don't want to hurt him.  I want to fly out this week because I miss my family.  Because I have a friend I want to meet for sushi and catch up and another who I desperately need coffee talk time with.  Because I think it might be fun to come back after a week away.  


Because I want to try trusting that the house won't be like a bachelor pad when I get back.  Trust is what we're working on right now.  So should I stay or should I go now?  Eh, I can't think, I'm just gonna clean and see what happens.